God is Good!

Seek the Lord while He may be found!

The Number One Destroyer Of Family Life


Gari Melchers (1862–1932} Mural of Peace. Photographed in 2007 by Carol Highsmith

Gari Melchers (1862–1932} Mural of Peace. Photographed in 2007 by Carol Highsmith

Some 20 plus years ago, I attended Sunday Mass in St. Anselm’s Church in a suburb of London, close to Heathrow Airport.  As always in visits like this, I sat with the congregation to enjoy the Mass and the homily.  What astounded me this Sunday morning was the topic of the priest’s homily: “Husbands stop battering your wives.”

Beforehand, I would have thought that this form of domestic violence would be a rare happening in the Christian community.  Evidently, the wife battering had come to the priest’s attention so often that he considered it worthwhile to devout his whole homily to it.

For all sociologists, experts in the study of family living, anger stands as the number one enemy of family peace and happiness.  Uncontrolled anger, through cutting words or violent actions, seeks to harm others in the family circle.  Police dread answering the call of domestic violence because they generally are entering into a no-win situation where family members are throwing insults and blows at each other.

Anger is a terribly difficult emotion to handle. Even when anger is used in a proper way, the results can turn out poorly.  All people would be better off if they rarely used anger to solve family situations.  Have little or nothing to do with this very powerful emotion.  Hearts suffer greatly from harsh expressions of correction and criticism.

In a household where a constantly angry person lives, the other people living there never know what to expect for the day ahead.  Will the angry person be in a good mood or in a bad mood?  What kind of violence will the angry person do in acts or words?  Sinful anger poisons the air of the household.

All people are filled with more angry feelings than they realize.  Things don’t go one’s way with a resultant desire to get back at others who caused this lack of success.  In traffic situations, an honest person will admit to many angry impulses to get even with other drivers.  To be a person of peace at home, one would do well to throw cold water on these hot flashes of violence.  Cool Down!  No one can love a hot head.

Fr. George Mc Kenna

August 20, 2016 - Posted by | Bulletins | , , , , ,

4 Comments »

  1. Hi Fr. George!

    Here I am, on a sunny Saturday morning – drinking my coffee and catching up on your blog posts. Yesterday we had record highs of 97 in Seattle – almost unheard of here, but was a good reminder of all those super hot days in Chicago! 95 on tap for today too… High fire danger here, with all the trees and the dry conditions. That part is scary!

    Yes, anger can really destroy lives… when we only have such a short time on this planet (100 years if we are lucky!), why be so angry so often? Life can be frustrating, but you have to let things go – I am not 100% great at this, to be sure – there are many things that can make me angry – but, at home, we have a very peaceful household and after 16 years of marriage – still very much in love. Kindness is the norm for us – but for many, it is a rarity.

    What is missing, especially to the men, who, statistically, do commit the acts of domestic violence more so than women – what is missing in their lives? But, it may not be that… it may just be that the violence is what they saw in the home growing up – and so that became their ‘normal’ and they will teach this to their children and so the cycle continues.

    Everyone can learn from Jesus with the greatest commandment: “Love one another as I have loved you.”

    Thanks for another reminder of how to live in peace and harmony in this challenging thing called life!

    Love you, dear friend, I’m praying for you so often!

    Nancy

    Comment by nancywest22 | August 20, 2016 | Reply

  2. Miss you Father George, you are always In my prayers.Matt 

    Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android

    Comment by matt marich | August 20, 2016 | Reply

  3. The night before I read this post about anger-bred violence in the home, I had really gotten mad at home because my wife had erased some recorded Olympic games, two days in a row, I had saved these for my daughter-in-law These were her favorite sports. Rarely do I feel the spiteful rage type of anger, I told myself, and I was able to cool down without venting beyond some sarcasm and mumbled words. But the next I read your sentence, “All people are filled with more angry feelings than they realize.” Your examples included anger while driving a car (like Walt Disney’s Goofy in the cartoons). Bingo! Flash! I had a “Truth shall set you free” moment. Through your words the Holy Spirit sparked an awareness of my own driving habits and attitudes. Since I’ve driven with less anger. My repentant attitude has carried me through at least 100 miles of driving.This change was good for my soul, for passengers and other drivers. Thanks, Father McKenna. Keep on blogging.

    Comment by Ed Miskovic QN '64 | August 21, 2016 | Reply

  4. My husband(R.I.P.) was a Chicago Police Officer (1957-1985) and he said going in on a “Domestic” was the worst kind of call – people’s emotions were out of control and if knives and/or guns were involved, it was tragic for all including the children crying.

    Comment by Anonymous | September 6, 2016 | Reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: